...and believe it or not, this is actually the third day we've been home alone together. We have such supportive family and friends - and everyone's been helpful visiting and lending a hand. My mom has been pretty helpful - mostly as a grounding force for me. She visits but lets me do my "mommy stuff" and offers help or suggestions in a good way.
Yesterday we went to Barnes & Noble with Grammy. While Gram was browsing cards she could see my anxiety - out in a public place with a baby who just had a bottle but could cry at any second and looks like he's getting antsy... Finally she asked me what's the worst thing that could happen (he could totally flip out and start crying in this quiet cafe), and what would you do (I'd just keep carrying him, put my diaper bag in the stroller, wheel him outside, and get him in the carrier outside away from everyone in the cafe). So there, nothing to be nervous about. I have an escape route.
So today has been a good day for me mentally because I'm doing my normal stuff for the first time, only with a baby here at home. It's a lot of work trying to figure out how, as it says in my subheading, not to lose myself when the day is a blur of nursing and diapers. It's something Dennis and I talked a lot about before we decided to have a baby. It's important for both of us to retain personality beyond "Mommy and Daddy". I'm overwhelmed less when I feel like we're able to do things we did before - only this time with a baby, and with a lot more prep and thought. No more running to the beach on a whim, or taking a drive to work to grab something I need. I can still do these things, but with more preparation.
Today was a good start.
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